I don't want to insult our reader, I hope her life changing events are spectacular, but "Martini Menus" are complete bullshit. Just because they poured your girlie drink into a martini glass and tacked -tini onto an ingredient to re-christen it doesn't mean you're hip, suave, old school, sophisticated or cool. It means you paid too much for smaller drink.
And for the rest of you, martinis have gin in them, vodka martinis have vodka. The next 'bartender' that asks me to clarify gets garroted.
The rest of the anchorbutts apologize for Russ. He's a third of the way through his second bottle of gin already today, and it's only a quarter to four.
He ran out of vermouth about a week ago, and he's been drinking Market Pantry Diet Cola-tinis ever since then.
Gin Martinis are like saying Cheese Quesadilla. If you don't have enough guts to drink nearly pure Gin, call it something else. Eh? Even if you're Bond.
Where's the martini menu thing? I don't see it on Pencopal's blog thing.
Dewey, for those Anchors new to blogging, is there a place for some intructions?
See the last line in this post for the martini menu.
In order for anchorbutts to post to this blog, I think you just have to go to www.blogger.com, log in, and it'll show you all the blogs you're a member of. Then hit "create post" and do what comes naturally.
And then, after you've done what comes naturally, post some stuff.
> See the last line in this post for the martini menu.
Liar.
I understand how to create posts. I've even done it. Didn't you read the Texas story of Ben Faust?
The more advanced features and the navigation feel sticky. I'm getting it. And I found Blogger's help stuff immediatley after asking you. I just wanted to talk to you.
It says (and I quote) "And thank God it's over a fucking bar with an amazing martini menu."
It doesn't reproduce the menu, just refers to its existence.
Yeah, I thought you posted before. As for navigation and advanced features, I tend to stay away from that junk. I'm kind of a minimalist, so I don't know that I have much advice to offer in that department. Sorry.
I understand Dewey. I still want to know what it's got.
Barnaby Conrad III says this:
"The Perfect Martini, as an idea, has infinite possibilities. For me, the Dry Martini remains an American symbol of elusive perfection, a kind of pagan Holy Grail. The dedicated Martini drinker views this deceptively simple cocktail as a true if fleeting, salvation, ... As in religion, one may not have actually witnessed the Conception of the Perfect Martini, but one accepts on faith that it exists, and that it takes away the sins of the earth."
From http://members.tripod.com/~MrSuave/themartini.html
I wonder if there's Razzamatazz in the holy grail of Martinis?
russ, remember, actual content and quantity of a drink are only contributers to its perceived quality. Atmosphere, price, presentation all contribute as well. Hell, a good advertising firm could probably convince people to drink 7 and 7's out of my navel and pay me $18 a pop for the privilege (but who wants a pickled navel).
Pencopal: Have you tried a sidecar? Now there's a cocktail I can get behind (btw, when you order this, even if you're a big hairy pretty obviously straight guy you get it in a 'tini glass with some fruit about half the time.
Travelling in Italy? Don't order a "martini" and expect gin. For that, go with the "Martini Cocktail", I was told. Martini and Rossi makes vermouth, and if you ask for a "martini" you'll get a glass full of the dry stuff. It looks roughly martini-ish, so when you take a big sip, your eyes shoot open and you try desperately not to spit-take on your hosts.
Me and my crew in college weren't much for drinking (although we made up for it in the post-college... and current... years). So we decided to check out this whole suave and sophistacated thing. We rented Ocean's 11 (the original, well the only at that point) and with my pal Nadeem's dad's mini-bartender book went to a liquor store and stocked up for a few different drinks. I know one was a martini, one was a manhattan. Well, they both called for vermouth, so it was a natural pairing -- except martinis have dry vermouth and manhattans have sweet vermouth. So, yes, we made sweet vermouth martinis. And smoked nice Haitian cigars. And many of us later vomitted off Jeff's fire escape.
Everything makes a little more sense when it's anchored.
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24 comments:
Does that mean it's time to put up google ads?
I don't want to insult our reader, I hope her life changing events are spectacular, but "Martini Menus" are complete bullshit. Just because they poured your girlie drink into a martini glass and tacked -tini onto an ingredient to re-christen it doesn't mean you're hip, suave, old school, sophisticated or cool. It means you paid too much for smaller drink.
And for the rest of you, martinis have gin in them, vodka martinis have vodka. The next 'bartender' that asks me to clarify gets garroted.
The rest of the anchorbutts apologize for Russ. He's a third of the way through his second bottle of gin already today, and it's only a quarter to four.
He ran out of vermouth about a week ago, and he's been drinking Market Pantry Diet Cola-tinis ever since then.
Anchorbutt. Sponsored by Market Pantry Diet Cola-tinis.
Start buying lottery tickets. We've got a new project to fund!
Anchorbutt bar and grille. Featuring the Market Pantry Diet Cola-tini.
Garroted!
hey anchorbutts... one more reader!
Welcome to the show.
Was "Garroted!" a Teen Girl Squad reference?
Gin Martinis are like saying Cheese Quesadilla.
If you don't have enough guts to drink nearly pure Gin, call it something else. Eh? Even if you're Bond.
Where's the martini menu thing? I don't see it on Pencopal's blog thing.
Dewey, for those Anchors new to blogging, is there a place for some intructions?
See the last line in this post for the martini menu.
In order for anchorbutts to post to this blog, I think you just have to go to www.blogger.com, log in, and it'll show you all the blogs you're a member of. Then hit "create post" and do what comes naturally.
And then, after you've done what comes naturally, post some stuff.
As for me, I like my gin with tonic.
> See the last line in this post for the martini menu.
Liar.
I understand how to create posts. I've even done it. Didn't you read the Texas story of Ben Faust?
The more advanced features and the navigation feel sticky. I'm getting it. And I found Blogger's help stuff immediatley after asking you. I just wanted to talk to you.
It says (and I quote) "And thank God it's over a fucking bar with an amazing martini menu."
It doesn't reproduce the menu, just refers to its existence.
Yeah, I thought you posted before. As for navigation and advanced features, I tend to stay away from that junk. I'm kind of a minimalist, so I don't know that I have much advice to offer in that department. Sorry.
I understand Dewey. I still want to know what it's got.
Barnaby Conrad III says this:
"The Perfect Martini, as an idea, has infinite possibilities. For me, the Dry Martini remains an American symbol of elusive perfection, a kind of pagan Holy Grail. The dedicated Martini drinker views this deceptively simple cocktail as a true if fleeting, salvation, ... As in religion, one may not have actually witnessed the Conception of the Perfect Martini, but one accepts on faith that it exists, and that it takes away the sins of the earth."
From
http://members.tripod.com/~MrSuave/themartini.html
I wonder if there's Razzamatazz in the holy grail of Martinis?
Well, I don't know. Let's ask Pencopal what it's got.
I like gin. Bombay Sapphire is my fave. But I don't really dig martinis.
Wow, I'm diggin' that background music on the Bombay gin site.
russ, remember, actual content and quantity of a drink are only contributers to its perceived quality. Atmosphere, price, presentation all contribute as well. Hell, a good advertising firm could probably convince people to drink 7 and 7's out of my navel and pay me $18 a pop for the privilege (but who wants a pickled navel).
I'll have a half-caf kofno-tini with a twist of lemming, please.
Ahh, balls. I pissed off our only reader. I musta been PMSing yesterday...
Pencopal:
Have you tried a sidecar? Now there's a cocktail I can get behind (btw, when you order this, even if you're a big hairy pretty obviously straight guy you get it in a 'tini glass with some fruit about half the time.
)
My other Martini story:
Travelling in Italy? Don't order a "martini" and expect gin. For that, go with the "Martini Cocktail", I was told. Martini and Rossi makes vermouth, and if you ask for a "martini" you'll get a glass full of the dry stuff. It looks roughly martini-ish, so when you take a big sip, your eyes shoot open and you try desperately not to spit-take on your hosts.
O, another story-tini:
Me and my crew in college weren't much for drinking (although we made up for it in the post-college... and current... years). So we decided to check out this whole suave and sophistacated thing. We rented Ocean's 11 (the original, well the only at that point) and with my pal Nadeem's dad's mini-bartender book went to a liquor store and stocked up for a few different drinks. I know one was a martini, one was a manhattan. Well, they both called for vermouth, so it was a natural pairing -- except martinis have dry vermouth and manhattans have sweet vermouth. So, yes, we made sweet vermouth martinis. And smoked nice Haitian cigars. And many of us later vomitted off Jeff's fire escape.
E-O Eleven!
Man, I'm a fan of Martinis and 007, and that menu is a bastardization of a bastardization.
Their 007 martini is a play on the two Os and the 7: Orange - Orange - 7-up.
Everyone knows Bond was the man for Vodka Martinis. But I don't think he asked for what's basically a Screwdriver.
Russ: You are the only person I've ever seen making Martinis at a campsite.
Ooo... you just reminded me of the disc* of martini. Ouch.
*That's 55oz for those not in the frisbee world
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