31 August 2005

Nova: Just how much did they know, and when?


Octopus head massager


Venture capital for tech projects.

Cleveland no longer poorest city!!

In just one year, Cleveland went from the poorest city in the U.S. to the 12th poorest (in a tie with the now-beleaguered New Orleans). City officials quoted in this article actually seem a little disappointed not to be at the top of that list any more.

I don't know. Maybe I'm confusing disbelief with disappointment.

At least Red Meat is hilarious today.

30 August 2005

The Onion frees its archives

Just last week I was referring to this article in conversation and lamenting that I might never get to read it again. O happy day.

Swedish Design

First, Jimmy Page reincarnated. Now this. Screw the French; I think I'm a Swedophile now.

My birthday present to Frank

Remember, you can do anything, the only limit is yourself!

Oh no you di'int.

Found on Bleacheating Freaks (site may not be SFW).


Hey all,
Today is my Birthday. Celebrating will commence at O'Reilly's at 7:00.
Hope to see you there.

Sounds rude if you say it out loud...

Sofa King   We Taught It.

Sofa King We Taught It.

Great News!

You're the Man Now, Dog!


29 August 2005

Katrina: Zowie


Who could forget?

Donkey Puncher nearly gets a knee down...

...wearing Nomex jammies.

LEGO Designer

I know you already saw this on Engaget. Kiss my ass. This is too cool not to blog it.

The Louvre 360

This is pretty cool.

Nature's fury


28 August 2005

He-Man outfit for auction!!!

I have the power.

game over, man, game over

it's a trailer for doom the movie. disclaimer: ignant.

but: it looks like they're actually sticking some kind of extended first person sequence into the middle of the movie somewhere. footage resembles the game to a shocking extent.

maybe when they do zork the movie there can be a judiciously placed screenful of text somewhere. like those other movies. you know.

also: how long (in years) until The Rock makes a bid for legitimacy by switching over to his real name (i don't know, carlos rockfarb or something). do you think he'll do the mellencamp transition thing, where first it's 'englebert "the rock" malmsteen' and then the full cutover?


27 August 2005

Et tu, WFMU?

No respect. No respect, I tell ya. Although he does display a good amount of C-town knowledge.

26 August 2005

Dog Judo

Black belts are pretty hard to find

Lawnchair Man

You may remember that fellow that flew around in a lawnchair under a bunch of weather balloons in 1982. But did you know he shot to 16,000 feet?

Audio transcript between our intrepid aviator and his girlfriend/ground crew chief.

Her: "Can you see us? Over."
Him: "Carol, I'm almost 6,000 feet. Over. I can't see much of anything but a bunch of houses. Over."

Almost that time again


25 August 2005

Family Portraits Gone Wrong

I felt bad because nothing had been posted yet today.

24 August 2005

What's tougher than an anchorbutt?

These guys claim to be pretty tough . . .

I've got some killer turtle pics

I'm sure you guys have heard of Hello, the new hip/chat/picture sharing thing. But, C'mon... turtle pics? for ADVERTISING?! What's next? Why not just show Hitler using Instant Messager.

I'm concerned...

... that all the protective gear kids wear today is going to have some unexpected consequences -- like dangerously elevating internal temperatures, slow roasting people's spleens by the time they're thirty.

PS Please note colorful tabs.

23 August 2005

Ah, Canton: beacon of the midwest.

Things not going so well at the school. Hahahaha: "...face mounting tensions...".

...and a Clooney

... and a clone

...Anna clown

...and a klown

do-do doody-doody-doo dodooodo
do-do doody-doody-doo dodooodo
DO dododo do, DO dododo do
doodydoodydoodydoody do, doody-do-dooooooo...

2, 3, 4 and
do-do doody-doody-doo dodooodo
do-do doody-doody-doo dodooodo
DO dododo do, DO dododo do
doodydoodydoodydoody do, doody-do-dooooooo...

...and a clown

Ever do a Google Image Search for "and a clown"? No, me neither.

22 August 2005

Here's a nice little New York story

Missing NY Judge Reappears After 75 Years


Moog joins Theremin!

Poll: enable word verification?

Drew deepened the mutually-assured-destruction safety net we have going here by making me an administrator when i asked about word verification. rather than just enable it directly, though, i figured i'd ask if anyone has any objections or preferences on this subject, as it will affect your comment-posting experience. silence is interpreted as an "aye".

for reference: word verification would require you to type a "wavy" word (e.g., "Viagra") prior to posting comments on an article. this supposedly makes the automated posting of goddamned bullshit by dirty dogfucking bastards less of an issue.


Croc owned by tiger. Ads NSFW.

21 August 2005

Bumblebee 2005?

(kinda looks like a stormtrooper head, huh?)

19 August 2005

Is there a 'top ten best' list to match this one?

When you get to #1 and wonder why it's on the list, make sure you've really taken the whole thing in.


Kanye West mashed up w/ Pet Sounds. Sacrilicious!

Get dumb fast


Stuff sucked into MRI machines

Getting acclimated

I'm looking for help overcoming my polite midwestern upbringing so I can fit in better here. This site is inspiring, but I'm not sure how to go about integrating its koan-like teachings into my life. Any suggestions for books, other web sites, etc., that teach New York attitudes and conversation skills to the immigrant?

18 August 2005

Great News!

The Montauk Book Of The Dead

Found this on that HiddenMysteries site. I can't get enough of that place.

The hot dog roll-up

"...if you have kind of medical problem DO NOT FUCKING EAT THIS THING, YOU WILL DIE!. If you are a normal heathy person, do not eat more than 1 of these a year, they are more or less like crack because they are so good, so you need to be careful."

Bonus points for decoding the message written in mustard ink.

17 August 2005

Where to meet vampires

"I go nuts for any boy in eyeliner with decent hair." - Tigerbunny

Things found in the server room

Suggested anchorbutt improvements

If you have improvements you'd like to see made to this site, please post them as comments under this post. I'm hereby volunteering dewey to make the changes, since I can't :)

(I thought of doing this offline like any sane, reasonable, non-pushy person, but this way everybody can join in.)

My ideas:

1) Don't use the 'Link:' feature when posting, because my RSS reader (thunderbird) doesn't give me an easy way to follow that link.
2) Alternatively, implement the first suggestion on this page, so that the link is always visible. - DONE
3) Fix up the css so that it's possible to tell if the post title is a link. Right now, the title looks the same whether it's clickable or not. - DONE
4) Give me whatever permissions are required for me to be able to do these things, and I'll just go about willy-nilly doing them :) - DONE (thanks!)

Craftsmanship patterns

All y'all ex-Noteworthy-types (and the few of you still beating the horse...) should check out Dave Hoover's Patterns of Software Craftsmanship: From Apprentice to Journeyman. It's a book-in-progress about how to be a great software craftsman (apprentice/journeyman/master), but to my mind it's more of a general-purpose "how to do the work you love and love the work you do."

(Dave's a fellow ThoughtWorker, and on a project with me at the moment, so support this book!)

The Onion today

I don't usually read The Onion, because while the headlines are funny, the stories are usually so-so. This example is no exception, but it made me chuckle, so I thought I'd pass it along.

Pimpin ain't easy

Uncle of our Nation

Thanks schmonz for the engrish link.

Matrix Ping Pong


Country Music and the Confederate Secret Service

A clever mix of historical coincidence and poor writing. Bravo! (via Reason)

16 August 2005

i am oedipus

i discovered recently that handling contact lenses after handling minced habanero peppers leads to a pain of such focus that it likens to euphoria.

this has been documented in a few places on the net. i like this guy who recommends periodically dipping your hands in a bowl of bleach while working with chilies to avoid such effects. wish i had read that one before.

i recommend a different approach than all of these guys: GO DO THIS. how many ways can you experience something deeply, horribly painful; something uniquely terrible, such that you are convinced that you will have to seek medical attention immediately or go blind, and yet not suffer lasting physical damage? be assured, gingerly poking yourself in the eye, trying to catch yourself by surprise while throwing sand in your face, etc, are not equivalent.

mince some chilies, handle them. wash hands thoroughly, thinking yourself clever. two hours later, remove contact lenses. burns? yes. feel it, fight to keep your eyes open, scream if you have to. now, wash your hands some more, go to sleep if you like, and then put them back in. if you have another pair, throw the originals out, it doesn't matter. hurts for much longer. yes, YES.... nnnyyyyaargh

if you don't have contacts, you could just try touching your eye a little. though i'll go out on a limb and say that if you do that, you are kind of fucked up.

Another fine product from the folks at Clybucca

Canned goat smegma - the perfect complement to those sheep testicles Irv was ogling at the fair.


See also Jessica Rabbit + Leia mashup.

Pizza cone.

Put pizza in a cone? Brilliant!!

15 August 2005

In case you're looking for a tux

Slippery slope

What's next? Suggest appropriately inappropriate edifices for other disasters in the comments.

Backstroke of the West

You the trained boy noed longer is already.

(See also engrish.com.)

I heard...

... that Trump had his own blog and got excited. Then I found out it was just some bankrupt real estate schmuck from NY.

12 August 2005

What if I want mine shipped with cleavage?

I'm just asking, you know, for friend...

Metrosexual? Aliens reading your thoughts?

Finally, a _stylish_ way to keep the aliens from reading your mind!

Where was this when I was in college

I had to dumpster dive when I needed furniture.

FedEx furniture

11 August 2005

Grimace attacks, kills child

rocket... MAN

shatner's interpretation of elton john classic on 1978 "science fiction awards" show.

Feeling nostalgic

I guess this is retro now.

09 August 2005


This may have been posted here before, but the $%^&* google-based search hasn't indexed the blog yet, so I can't tell.

See a secret...Share a secret

(And yeah - sorry for posting something serious. To make up for it, here's some really bad writing.)

Leaving this soon-to-be Schmonzforsaken town

My last hurrah as a Clevelander will be at Becky's tomorrow (Wednesday), starting around 6 - 6:30. If you're reading this and aren't one of those asshat commenters, you're invited. Come experience the end of a Schmonzera at a joint with some local color and/or flavor.

Rebuild The Wall

I don't have any particular reverence for (fur) Pink Floyd, but they were playing this crap in Chipotle today. In the name of Christ, people were trying to eat.

company names

I wonder what made somebody think that a misspelling of "intelligence" would be a good name for a company?

Couch, settee...

... divan, chaise, loveseat, davenport. Davenport?

Calling all anchorbutts!!

I call on all Anchorbutt members to welcome non-members who wish to post intelligent or useful comments.

I call on all Anchorbutt members to mock and insult asshats who post vacuous comments strictly to drive traffic to their crappy web sites.

I guess this blog now gets enough traffic to be considered a place to fish for eyeballs, so our only options are (1) disable comments, (2) vigilantly delete the trash, or (3) respond in our own sarcastic way.

I pick #3. Who's with me?

We're ready together

Pregnancy test.

08 August 2005


Beware the Cuddly Menace


First the frontstory... doot dooo do doodoo... and then the backstory.

Know any...

... good dive bars, in Cleveland or elsewhere?

There was a place called 'The W. 3rd Cafe' that was down the street from 'Pat's In The Flats', we used to get a great $4 burger or $5 steak dinner there. 'The Knotty Pine' in Cleveland Heights is a classic. If you ever make it out to a Lake County Captains baseball game, there's a place by the stadium called 'Beanie's Lounge' (that's what it says on my charge receipt, at least). Just found that one, and it was awesome.

I guess for me the classic dive bar has watery beer, cheap eats, a jukebox full of midwest rock, and mostly vinyl seating. It's never too crowded to walk to the john, it's never too loud to talk to your pals. No one-armed-one-horned-flying-purple-people-tini's, no dress code, no meat market.

There is such a thing as too-divey I recently discovered at 'Grilly's', on Lorain near 25th. But I think if I put in some time there, even that would feel homey and comfortable and slightly sticky. On the first visit, it's only one for three.

Some things about women amaze...

... others repulse (SFW, pretty much). What is wrong with kids today?

It's probably important...

... that someone is keeping track of this kinda stuff (NSFW). For the sake of human knowledge.

05 August 2005

Please, think of the kittens.

More kittens than you've ever seen in one place.

Which file extension...

...are you? I am ogg.

Incidentally, I found this by clicking reload a few times on Russ' LiveJournal image upload link.


Dude makes "poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!" Some of my favorites:

A recipe...

... for reloading.

03 August 2005

Computer behavior in movies

You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

Welcome to the show!!

Everybody say "hi" to our two new members.

Here is a monkey riding a dog.

Sifl & Olly

This is mainly for Irv, but other people are allowed to like it too.

Speaking of balls...

The Fall Felt Ball.

When dogs pig out

Now with honey!

Too Many Larrys

Can there be such a thing as too many Larrys?

02 August 2005

Trail bologna

Is that like a road apple?

Ball lightning: myth or reality?


Public Service Announcement

It's technically safe for work, but I wouldn't risk it: video

01 August 2005

Who loves math?

I remember learning about this theorem with an orange. This way's more fun.

Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief


Sam Cassell

You've got to pray...

... that you don't get stalked on a dark moonless night in an old, abandoned amusement park. Seriously, you've got to.

You've got to pray...

... just to make it today.

Greatest Rock Guitar Solos

These arbitrary lists are always fodder for violent disagreement. Let the bickering begin!!

I didn't see Limozeen in the list anywhere.

Pike's Peak Hill Climb Rally


Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

Hosting a top gun legend is risky business for minority reporters.

API Hawtness...

... leads to hotness.