16 August 2005

i am oedipus

i discovered recently that handling contact lenses after handling minced habanero peppers leads to a pain of such focus that it likens to euphoria.

this has been documented in a few places on the net. i like this guy who recommends periodically dipping your hands in a bowl of bleach while working with chilies to avoid such effects. wish i had read that one before.

i recommend a different approach than all of these guys: GO DO THIS. how many ways can you experience something deeply, horribly painful; something uniquely terrible, such that you are convinced that you will have to seek medical attention immediately or go blind, and yet not suffer lasting physical damage? be assured, gingerly poking yourself in the eye, trying to catch yourself by surprise while throwing sand in your face, etc, are not equivalent.

mince some chilies, handle them. wash hands thoroughly, thinking yourself clever. two hours later, remove contact lenses. burns? yes. feel it, fight to keep your eyes open, scream if you have to. now, wash your hands some more, go to sleep if you like, and then put them back in. if you have another pair, throw the originals out, it doesn't matter. hurts for much longer. yes, YES.... nnnyyyyaargh

if you don't have contacts, you could just try touching your eye a little. though i'll go out on a limb and say that if you do that, you are kind of fucked up.


schmonz said...

Dude, what are you on???


russ said...

Didja ever have someone lick your eyeball?

Very odd.

tormp said...

i've never had sufficient control over someone else to hook something like that up.