sleepytime gorilla museum are playing at the beachland on 6/2. they will be playing timeless classics like the above, and "the donkey-headed adversary of humanity opens the discussion". among their nearly innumerable virtues:
* endlessly amusing
* everyone in the band goes by both a first name and a last name
* the woman is an Obie
* they will do for strange things what the beatles did for other things
31 May 2007
Posted by tormp at 23:55
30 May 2007
23 May 2007
21 May 2007
19 May 2007
i'm kind of excited about transformers. why? why why why why? what the hell is going on? it's michael bay. con air. did you see con air? my god. the island. did you see the island? it was stupid, impossibly stupid. indepedence day? with wil smith? stop me. please, somebody. don't let me do this.
update. i see that i have grossly misattributed several awful films to michael bay. feel free to substitute "armageddon" and "pearl harbor" for "independence day" and "con air".
however, i feel there is a sense in which he was responsible for those films, even if he wasn't directly involved in their production.
Posted by tormp at 01:06
14 May 2007
I have discovered the following very important theorem.
SCHMONZ'S THEOREM: Everything is the same as something else, except for something.
Example #1: THE CHEESEBURGER. The cheeseburger is the same as the hamburger, except that it also contains cheese. Schmonz's Theorem holds. An equivalent true statement can be formulated in terms of the hamburger. Normative formulations are also possible: The cheeseburger is the same as the hamburger, except that it's more awesome.
Example #2: TWO OTHERWISE IDENTICAL CHEESEBURGERS. The one cheeseburger is the same as the other cheeseburger, except that it is not the same instance of cheeseburger as the other. Schmonz's Theorem holds. Note that this is a more subtle application of Schmonz's Theorem. We are willing to assume the theoretical identicality of cheeseburgers (apart from their individual identities qua cheeseburger, of course) and Schmonz's Theorem is shown to hold even in this edge case.
Example #3: TALKING ABOUT CHEESEBURGERS TO ILLUSTRATE ABSTRACT CONCEPTS. Talking about cheeseburgers to illustrate abstract concepts is like eating cheeseburgers, only the satisfaction is intellectual rather than gustatory. Schmonz's Theorem holds.
Corollary #1: GENUS-DIFFERENTIA DEFINITION. The genus-differentia definition of Aristotle is just like Schmonz's Theorem, only more original.
Misguided Criticism #1: It has been claimed that Schmonz's Theorem lacks predictive power and can only be used retroactively to describe two things which are similar, yet different. Those who make this claim have not read Schmonz's Theorem carefully. Schmonz's Theorem clearly states that, given any two things, they will always be similar, yet different. This particular criticism is therefore like a valid criticism, only not.
Exercise #1 (for advanced students only): SCHMONZ'S SECOND THEOREM. Schmonz's Second Theorem is defined in terms of Schmonz's First Theorem. What must Schmonz's Second Theorem be?
While you're working on that, I'm a go get a cheeseburger.
Posted by Amitai Schleier at 22:22