29 December 2005

Cuidado! Vomito de gato

Note the use of the center tag.

The ultimate showdown

Took forever to load, but worth watching, I think.

28 December 2005

in a perfect world

crazy fuckers would be able to do whatever they want. apparently, this is a perfect world. you must at least read through the history section.

25 December 2005

24 December 2005

Optical Illusion

I have no idea how this works but if you look at the image for about 5 minutes, you can see a ninja robot in the background.

22 December 2005

mr. pibb + red vines = crazy delicious

my cat didn't like it. i thought it was funny as hell.

18 December 2005

Howtoons help proto-geeks get their nerd on

Comic-style instructions for building and doing nerdy stuff...like counting to 1023 using only your 10 fingers.

another "OO" fad language

recent wikipedia featured article. not bad, though i think the article as structured will be confusing to non-specialists. seems they might have split it up into several articles, though i think they do a reasonable job of at least raising the many, many points that should be discussed in a comprehensive discourse on the language / platform / marketing machine that is java.

i didn't know that java was originally designed to run embedded in cable set-top boxes and microwaves, with the "web thing" being mostly a crime of opportunity.

16 December 2005


For her 17th wedding anniversary, Jeanette Yarborough wanted to do something special for her husband. In addition to planning a hotel getaway for the weekend, Ms. Yarborough paid a surgeon $5,000 to reattach her hymen, making her appear to be a virgin again.

14 December 2005

now, where was I?


i want to go see the big CGI monkey. as if that weren't already cool, i've also heard that people get eaten by giant slugs. so, who's interested? i know that it's showing tonight.

For the love of god, stop washing your baby or whatever and go see this thing. It's amazing.

13 December 2005

G2G Share -- Google Hack for File Sharing

Found on Newsforge, interesting concept for yet another Google hack.

Hurra Torpedo is not back... or are they?

they are just getting paid for Ford commercials


i like them anyways

12 December 2005

Bunny Suicides

Jim's blog has a link to creative ways for bunnies to commit suicide. Highly amusing.

11 December 2005

"They got him"

This clip is crying out for a caption contest. How about: "They told me I wasn't allowed to hit suspects with my nightstick anymore."

09 December 2005

Who thinks this is a good idea?

I have very vague recollections of sitting on Santa's lap. None too horrifying but at the same time none particularly happy. I mean really...

An oldie but a goodie

The Largest Carrot Collection in the World

Chinese subtitles raise some questions about ROTS

From the scene in which General Greiveous laments the pitiable skills of the droids...


so there's this expensive MOVIE about MONKEYS and DINOSAURS on an ISLAND and they are PISSED OFF and EAT people. I want to SEE IT. anyone interested?


08 December 2005

Optical Illusion

Caption: I have no idea how this works but if you look at the image for about 5 minutes, you can see a waterfall in the background.

06 December 2005

Apotheosis of shlock horror flick coming to fruition

Samuel L. Jackson will be appearing in a movie titled "Snakes on a Plane".

From Wikipedia:
At some point, the film's working title was altered to Pacific Air Flight 121, to the consternation of many. Josh Friedman declined the script offer upon hearing the new title. In August 2005, a perturbed Samuel L. Jackson told an interviewer, "We're totally changing that back. That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title." The film has currently reverted back to the working title of Snakes on a Plane.

All I can say is, thank God.

Hurra Torpedo at Fridgehenge

BadgersBadgersBadgersBadgers DanceMixDanceMix!

Ohh, a snake!

Holy Tango of Literature

"THE QUESTION of what would happen if poets and playwrights wrote works whose titles were anagrams of their names is one that has been insufficiently studied in the past..."

For instance,


It is an ancient Mariner,
And he taketh lots of drugs,
And he thinks his beard is made of snakes
And his body crawls with bugs.


Tell me have you played the Dev-il's game called Secret Santa?

Posted after much nagging by Mr Trump

05 December 2005

Hillary pursues the viking vote

Something ridiculous!

Sandy bought Dewey and I some toys that grow in water! Here are the pix.

04 December 2005

US Military planned gay bomb

The article says:

the researchers proposed that strong aphrodisiacs be dropped on enemy troops. The idea was that the deliriously loved-up men would unable to resist one another, but would be suffused with regret once the potion wore off.

Were they just going to lob extasy on Iraqi encampments?

03 December 2005


My friend Tony observed that this is creepy.

Hold it with both hands
Particularly after reading this.

01 December 2005

Ample parking day or night

It's true about the brown ones

Van Halen really did say they didn't want 'em.

30 November 2005

Real Ultimate Lisp

Indo Jew Bowl

I'm proud to be from this neck of the prairie (my piano lessons were in Skokie). Ordered me a "Jew Style Gold" shirt. Go football-playing Jews!


We've made it to epsilon. Is it too early to wonder what happens when we run out of greek letters?

I, for one, welcome our reptilian overlords

What is it about crack-pots and the <center> tag?

29 November 2005

28 November 2005

Well I'll be.

I distinctly remember back in like 1992 when I finally got my ole 386 25MHz box really humming, sorting out all the DOS 6.0 TCPIP stack issues and getting my newsreader, email, ftp, and I think even gopher client working smoothly, and I decided to start working with WinSock in Windows 2.0 and everything got fouled up again.

Relive DOS.

Dewey Porn

Dewey, your name is an adjective and makes my post title sound gross. Bastage.

Bad album covers at Flickr

200 pics. Whoo.

(some images NSFW)

27 November 2005

don't die without seeing Britannica Boy naked

as you can on his blog, hosted on blogger. not safe for work, i suppose. in addition to being naked, donavan himself is quite the porn aficionado.

to think that anchorbutt might be mere nanometers away from the hard disk storage of 80's reference shill Donavan Freberg's vanity blog(s)... it makes you wonder.

oh, apparently there was somebody with an EverQuest character named something-something Anchorbutt in 2004. he was an elf. and a cleric.

23 November 2005

The Dermatologist

(Because Russ said he has never seen a cat's junk.)


Some London students are in for a cold but secure winter: hoods and scarves are not allowed. What's next? Don't wear gloves so we can see your fingerprints?

21 November 2005

Already smelled greasy loot?

Boy, I wish I had this information 20 years ago. Here's the midi 4U2jam2.


As a former-at&t-wireless-subscriber-current-cingular-subscriber-soon-
to-be-at&t-wireless-subscriber, I think someone over there deserves a cock punch

20 November 2005

Ant-swering machine

Not for those easily disturbed by pictures of insect infestations of electronic devices.


From the "art lex" page.

point / counterpoint: influence

Britney Spears on her album "In The Zone", as interviewed by Newsweek and published Monday, Oct. 27, 2003:

When Spears talks about the South Asian musical influences on "In the Zone," she says she's "been into a lot of Indian spiritual religions." When asked if one of them is Hinduism, she says, "What's that? Is it like abbalah?"

Shakira, discussing her recent album "Oral Fixation, Vol. 2", in the New York Times, Sunday, Nov. 13, 2005:

"I've always felt that I've been a very oral person. It's my biggest source of pleasure. From a psychoanalytical point of view, we start discovering the world through our mouths in the very first stage of our lives, when we're just born. The first album cover is more Freudian, and the second one more resembles Jung, because Eve is a universal archetype. I tried to keep a unity between the two album covers, and I chose to use some Renaissance iconography. Mother and child and original sin are recurrent concepts of the Renaissance period, and I wanted the historical character."

19 November 2005

gund to old retards: eat shit

noticed by FAQ enthusiast kyl. from the Gund Foundation FAQ:

"Are there specific fields in which the Foundation does
NOT fund?

The Foundation does not fund programs that provide services to the elderly or to individuals who are physically, mentally or developmentally disabled. Our grantmaking in the health field in limited to retinal degenerative disease research, community health and AIDS policy and services."

hey man, that's cool.

I placed in a famous Bad Poetry Contest

I haven't had much time for uselessness in the last few weeks. It all came tumbling out in one crazy night of bad poetry, in a contest named for Alfred Joyce Kilmer.

16 November 2005

Sunnis demand Iraq torture probe

We're torturing everyone with unintentionally funny headlines, too.

The Goonies are alright

Except maybe for Cory Feldman...


Mercifully, a google image search for "emeril swimsuit" returns no hits.

Negotiating Pattern Language

I was referred to a very handy NegotiatingPattternLanguage on the c2 wiki. You might like it, too.

15 November 2005

How's this for gross?

Ants eat away woman's eye in Indian hospital.

I would make a pun based on the fact that iatrogenic sounds like Eye-ant-rogenic, but nobody would get it, so I won't bother.

Bird Flu in Anaheim

It must be hot in those things...

14 November 2005

Take that, hippie!

How is possible

... that the only online references to the culinary cudgel that is the Spoto Burger seem to originate from Canadia?

Write-only DB

MySQL has a feature that allows you to send your data into a black hole, where it can never be retrieved again. (Turns out to be slightly more useful than it sounds.)

Anch Or But T

I don't think we have anything to worry about.

10 November 2005

Screw you George Lucas

I finally gave up spending money on star wars toys 2 YEARS AGO!

But old George figured out how to make me spend more $$$.

How can I NOT buy these?

The new cock punch?

Sports screw-ups

09 November 2005

I am We Todd Did

You must watch this video!


NSA for kids

In the tradition of Power Panther, the NSA has set up a web site for kids.


High-tech Risk

At a book store recently I briefly pondering buying the Star Wars Risk, but then came to my senses.

Is the sun farting?

08 November 2005

Some people don't spell "villian" right.

But these guys do!!! Don't skip the intro; it's the best part of the site.

for sale in cleveland...

...one xtracycle (spelled funky to make it harder to find on the web).


Stumped by Trump

I have no idea what he's on about.

I would, however, like to say that kids today are weird.

07 November 2005


I only had O(1) drinks, occifer!

What do you guys think about the issue of using closed-source equipment to determine if somebody committed a crime? I can see slippery slopes on both sides of this issue.

Let the wookie win

06 November 2005

R, Matey!

Ar, Matey!

From the Department of 'Duh!'

So, it turns out that the Feds are abusing the Patriot Act. Hope they don't find Dewey's furry pron.

Er, excuse me ma'am

There's some stool clinging to your backside.

05 November 2005

In Europe, they do things a little differently

I'm gonna give this guy the benefit of the doubt and pretend "Turbonegro" might not mean in Norwegian what it means in English. The gesture, though, I'm pretty sure that's universal.

04 November 2005


King Biscuit Time vs. Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Discuss.

Smart Noshery Makes You Slobber

Engrish courtesy of Dreadful Snake Radio podcast.

To the moon, Alice!

Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....
You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night....
You hear her stumble into bed around 4 and laugh knowing she's going to have a monster hangover....
You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night....
You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....
You circle the car looking for dents and find none....but wait a minute.


03 November 2005

I want a party

On the Implausibility of the Death Star's Trash Compactor

Yeah, I realize the odds of you lot not having already read a 2002 Star Wars article from McSweeney's are nil. So spare me the nut violence, and so forth.

Playing video games with friends

Get naked. Get tazed. Repeat.

Get In My Belly!

01 November 2005

'Tis the season...

...to buy junk. Why not get some poorly qualified opinions on that junk, first?

Grilled baby!

Good news, Tormp! We still have some leftovers.

31 October 2005

I want some Mo**** Fu**** Chocolate Milk!!!

Playing video games on Xbox Live is all well and good. Arguing with your mom about chocolate milk? Sometimes OK. But if you're going to do both, remember to turn off your headset, lest you become an internet meme.

Audio NSFW.

A consumption tax...

... of your very own.

Side Effects of the Smoking Ban

Anti-smoking campaigners believed that the ban would improve health and stop people smoking. But many young Dubliners admit that they have increased their consumption of cigarettes because of the social benefits.

30 October 2005

Arcade Machine Auction

Who can shake loose on Friday morning to run out there and buy phat stuff?

jiggy pickle

28 October 2005


Just wow. Do you think these exist in America?

I imagine it would go something like this:

"Trick or Tree....... gee zuss effin kuh ryst, sicko! I'm calling Homeland Security on you!"

Prepare your self for a ground assault

27 October 2005

Truist, do you have this guy beat?

FLOMATON, Ala. -- Edmond Knowles started out saving pennies in a 5-gallon can. Thirty-eight years later, he was storing them in four 55-gallon drums and three 20-gallon drums - nearly 1.4 million in all. Knowles, who runs a gas station, cashed them in Wednesday, pocketing $13,804.59 after they were counted at a bank. "It's just something that happened," he said. "I started so long ago that I don't even remember why." He got some help along the way from customers at Ed's Service Station. "Customers would come by and say: 'Ed, throw these in your drum,'" he said. Coinstar Inc., a company that maintains coin-counting machines in banks and supermarkets, said Knowles' 1,380,459 pennies breaks the record of 1,048,013 held by Eugene J. Sukie of Barberton, Ohio.

Some are tall, some aren't

26 October 2005

24 October 2005

Aeon Flux

There's more dialog in this trailer then there was in all the episodes combined.

Top 10 Unusual Things Women Look For In A Man

Your strange grandfather is a great source of female attractiveness. Only because it makes for some interesting entertainment. You'll be telling stories. Like how grandpa got drunk once, and decided to make love to the right sub-woofer of your stereo.

Also, check out the freakish arms on the guy in number six.

Who wants McDonalds?!?!

Return to sender

22 October 2005

You mean back on May 19, 2003?

i was drunk googling trying to find that insane site Mani found years ago with the terrifying dog outfits.


When drunk, please search the Minimalist Weblog (yes, I'm bracing for a cockpunch) for the object of your desire.

In this case, it would have taken you to a dead link, but they did leave a forwarding address. It's not quite how I remember it, but you know what they say: you can't step into the same river twice.

Shit, we missed it

It was Japaense Robot Dog day just a few short weeks ago.

21 October 2005

Continuing with the infanticide theme...

12 uses for a dead baby. Truly disgusting, repulsive, and immature.

This Friday's blast from the past

Anyone else remember Fat Chicks in Party Hats? (Questionable for work, including some ads that are pretty racy.)

...bravest little hobbit of them all...

yeric wanted more Nimoy music vids....I remind you of The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.

Where do babies come from?

Children's book, in german, with highly amusing pictures.

I would classify this link as NSFW.