Ronette McDonard

Den Fujita, the first McDonald's Japan president, declared: "The reason Japanese people are so short and have yellow skins is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for 2,000 years. If we eat McDonald’s hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we will become taller, our skin become white and our hair blond."

You can't make this stuff up. I want to see the paper issue the obvious correction: "We inaccurately reported the name of the first president of McDonald's Japan. His name was in fact Torbjorn Kekkasakkamolainen."