09 October 2007

national pornographic on youtube

national geographic has a lot of content hosted on youtube. the presentation has been foxnewsinated for the youtube generation, albeit in a sad way that suggests discomfort with the whole enterprise.

EXHIBIT A: LAGOMORPH DEFILED TO SATISFY POPULAR BLOODLUST




discussion / spoiler alert
What the hell is dad thinking? "My daughter doesn't know yet, so I wanted to, you know..."? NO! How many sane ways can you complete that sentence? ZERO. Also, aren't 5-year-olds all internet-savvy now? Seeing "Thumper" disintegumented on YouTube over and over again will be less traumatic than confronting her erstwhile friend's return to the void? Asshole.

I think the subject matter and production here seems geared to match TLC-level "edutainment": a presentation of tawdry subject matter whose entertainment value clearly lies in schadenfreude or other base titillation, and not in the, eh, noble facade of learning something stimulating about taxidermy.

EXHIBIT B: WHEN CETACEANS ATTACK




It's a clever tactic, anthropomorphizing the side that wins from the first couple of frames. This reminds me of an interaction I had with Kyl's uncle, over an adorable new calf that was stumbling around their farm in NE Ohio. "Did you give him a name?" "Lunch."

Seriously, this is not the N.G. that I grew up with: the dispassionate egghead explication attending hours of nothing but blank-eyed lizards clambering over dry dirt and rocks, punctuated by fleeting moments of mind-rending horror. To what end is this progress? John Madden narrates the Serengeti?

6 comments:

dewey said...

They said "lyme's disease", but I'm pretty sure it's just "lyme disease". Right Russ?

Gary uses Thumper's carcas to form a body mold.

Best sentence I've heard today.

tormp said...

the thumper video in particular seems to yield a new disturbing / hilarious moment with each viewing.

russ said...

Each viewing? I couldn't get through one.

As for Lyme's, the important thing to know is LLD -- Lime Literate Doctor. See, there's a whole group of conspiracy theorist what got bit by a tick who think they have long-term illness that regular doctors attribute to whiny hypochondria. So you gotta find one of these LLDs who will take more of your money.

mani said...

Nice. That is about 3 clicks away from stuffing your mother.

As for the whales. Obviously, the narrator has never observed the domesticated cat. I suspect the satiated whale put the seal back in the "pantry" so he could have it later.

dcass said...

obviously the last one made some sort of deal

tormp said...

that involved getting the whales on tv.